TRUST and TRASH

They say white lies are inevitable. It is something that you have to commit once in a while to protect you or someone relevant for future loss, damage or heartache. Well maybe that should be acceptable. But sometimes, even if it sounds so beneficial, I don't think it is always permissible. As cliche as it could be but the truth will always set us free. I for myself would rather be hurt by the truth than be comforted with the colorful lies.

Not so long ago, I hated my best friend's ex-boyfriend for being such a great liar. He was doing things that he kept under the table and when we had found out about it, he would be in his best soulful eyes and deny the accusation. The truth was so obvious and we were all convinced that he was saying otherwise, but my best friend who was blinded by faith and love chose to believe the douche bag. Lies, confrontation, reconciliation -- we were fed up with those drama all the way. The cycle was unending and everyday  was a challenge for my best friend.  For whatever reason, my best friend was so happy and was so in love with him. It could be because it was her first love or I guess he must be a good lover. Good thing, they broke up and it went for real. My best friend got rid of that frog prince and I hope she's dating the noble knight in a shining armor while I am writing this.

I am not a  bitter soul, it just felt so traumatic to see my best friend suffer and miss the beauty of life outside her doomed relationship. From then on, I chose to be very careful in trusting people and I could get easily disappointed whenever someone break that leap of faith I invested on him. Yes, I believe trusting a person is an investment. Why? well, that's just how I think. You can start thinking for your own. *grins*

Yet life is ironically amazing and everybody has a fair share of heartbreaking stories. A little fast forward and I saw myself suffering the way my best friend did. I never knew it could happen to me despite the walls I painted. I thought I have a well-built stronghold but then I found out that I was losing the battle I never wish to   fight. And just before I knew it, I was already defeated. I put my faith into someone who chose to be a shit bag. What's even worse? He could look straight into my eyes and play the role of a beautiful liar. Good Lord, I was able to pick myself up and walked away with my red stiletto.

I know things will change, I don't want to be a pessimist and I still want to see the goodness in life. I still believe that someday,somehow, someone worthy can earn my trust. But for now, I can't promise to be an angel. I am still a bomb waiting to be deactivated -- you cut the wrong cable, then I'll detonate. I'll make sure I can get you killed. **evil laugh** Just joking! I just hope no one would mess around throwing trash on me again. It sucks, you know?! haha