This is a compilation of my journey -- the daily walks and my countless talks...

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Day I Went Away

It was the 10th of December when we had our first encounter. I swear I can still see it clearly -- when I was standing in the boulevard waiting for a cab, anxious of being late for the party. Then my eyes caught the sight of Mr.Taxi and his passenger with a very familiar face. I realized he had been my office mate and God knows I caught his attention too. I stopped the cab as he told the driver to make a halt. I pulled the door and went on a hitch. We went to the party together and basically became friends. And that is when it all started...

Never did I imagine he would be someone relevant for I had seen him before that day and to me he was just an ordinary face in the crowd. Things went absolutely amazing between us. I used to make him sing over the phone, had breakfast together, went to work and back home everyday like real lovers do. I even introduced him to my best friends and spent the holidays with the people I've been getting along with. Damn. My parents knew him too! They even thought he's the one for he was the only guy I brought at home. Things eventually changed and I can't decide if I was lucky or just busted. He turned out to be a guy with the eyes that speak nothing but mystery. His hands were cold and his voice was deep -- echoing at the back of my head. His words are less and his actions lesser. At one judgment you may think of him as a stone, in complete personification. Funny as it may seems, I adored that living statue. To me he was the sun, the shining star of my universe.  I don't even know if I have to blame my one-sided optimism but I hoped nothing but the best for him ignoring the worst that was becoming out of me. I must say I gave up everything and I gained nothing.  It was a cycle I had to endure for almost a year and I really thought I would be stuck in that crazy little stupid thing I hate to call Love.

The reasons are vague but I just woke up one day sick and tired of hovering between that hopeless romance and my self-pride. I've been hearing them say how crazy I was drooling for that man who appeared to be someone who care less. I wore my heart upon my sleeve but he was a dead man walking so I end up feeding my fairy tale dreams alone. Nonetheless, it was and would never be his fault nor his shortcomings, he never promised me anything in the first place. Yeah, i know it was a shame. I was just another woman in love and I never thought I would ever be. From that day I wished I could go back to the days when lullabies and candies are as good as pain relievers.

Today, his eyes are still blank. It's been a while since we last held each other's sight. His expressions are stiff but I must admit I have every details of his face written in my heart. It hurts to see him pass by me knowing that we have not talked for a while. It sucks to watch him in pictures when I used to watch him sleep. I know I miss him but there's no turning back. I keep on telling myself not to fret -- Cinderella would not have been a princess if she went back to get her glass slippers anyway. But then again, the fact still remains that he was not a prince nor a knight in shining armor. I guess I just have to accept the reality that I have fallen in love to a man who never cared at all. Yes, I am a self-confessed fool.

Truth be told, I went away not because I want to. I went away because he let me go.


  1. i like this blog. i can feel you pain my dear. i may not be the same in your situation right now but i can see that you are hiding your tears behind your smile..